"....Sooooo.....what would be the highest they would want to see Ethan's respiratory rate?"

"Just a sec...we're not busy right now, why don't you bring him in so they can see him?"

This was how part of my discussion went with Ethan's paediatrician's office Wednesday night.  On the way into their office I hear Ethan vomiting and sounds like choking on it.  I kept trying to reassure him, focus on driving, and trying not to speed too much...I barely get into the parking spot and jump out of the car to remove him as quick as I can.  They're expecting us and trying to help me in.  We're not there long and the doctor starts listing his concerns...he's tachycardic (fast heart rate), tachypnic (working hard to breathe), pale, lethargic - okay this one may have been excusable given it was past his bedtime - and he should be brought to the ER.  "Do you think you can safely get him there?"  My mind goes into hyper drive...okay what all do I need to do to make this work?  Lorelei is already in bed, I can't really go on my own with him...someone needs to watch him...  Then the wonderful people that run the clinic offer to drive me there in my car.  Of course I take them up on this offer and leave arrangements for Lorelei's care up to Clayton.  I'll call when we get in to see what he needs to bring...

On the way to the hospital, Ethan falls asleep and I keep checking him to be sure he is still breathing.  A hard task given that he's covered in winter clothes, a blanket and has a make shift bib around him.  I can't really tell, so I put my finger by his nose.  Yup warm breath coming out, all is good.  Then he raises his left hand all of the sudden.  I figure he is just annoyed with the makeshift bib, so reassure him, move it out of his way and notice...OH, OH!  His eyes are looking up, and he's not focusing..."Ethan?  Ethan?  Ethan, it's okay we're almost there.  Ethan?"  Quick glance at the clock and as we pull in in front of the ER and he seems to be refocusing.  I hurry to get him out and of course try the main entrance with a sign saying use the one next to it.  Never a dull moment!  We get buzzed in to waiting room and the triage nurse asks those ahead of me and me what brings us in.  Of course there are the usual suspects, vomiting...diarrhea...  I produce a paper with the doctors concerns and Ethan gets into triage first.  We're only there moments (mainly long enough for a weight) and they brought him straight to a bed where a team was around him right away.  I look around, there are a lot of faces we know...this is somehow comforting to me.

REWIND - For about a week leading up to Wednesday, we were noticing Ethan seemed to be fighting something.  Likely a cold we thought...  Wednesday was my day off this week so I could tend to my well being and an appointment (at the house) for Ethan.  As Clayton is trying to get Lorelei out the door and to work, Ethan throws up....here it comes, we'd been expecting it...  I get him cleaned up and leave him in care as I head out to my appointments.  Of course on the way to one, I stop to drop off some broken mic-keys (might as well multitask since I'm out anyway).  I get a call, "Where's Ethan's Tempra?  He has a fever."  Great!  I get home later and he's not feeling himself, he's been getting his Ventolin puffers and Tempra every four hours but was able to do some of his therapy in the morning.  Just before Clayton gets home, he vomits again.  Okay, no big surprise he'd been threatening to for much of the afternoon.  Then after his bath and into bed he vomits again.  I'm watching him work harder and harder to breathe...time to call the clinic...

Back to the ER - Why is it comforting to recognize staff?  Well that means they may have a bit of a memory of Ethan (they recognize us as well), that means they know we won't come in without a really good reason (no real worry there - Ethan has many of them worried by how he presented).  They go straight to oxygen mask and start an IV - another ordeal of trying to dig for a vein which really upsets him.  His oxygenation goes up to 100%.  I start to wonder, there's a 6 hour wait list to get into the ER, do we need to be here?  We're able to move him to blow-by air, he's still doing okay...then he falls into a deep sleep, and his oxygenation falls.  :(  I guess there is no reason for guilt (okay happy guilt, but some guilt all the same) that we cue jumped.  We'd already been told to get comfortable.  They question his neurological state, and decide to wait based on our suggestions that it seems to be typical with respiratory concern for Ethan.  The ER is busy, the Critical Care Unit is full, the floors are pretty full...  We get admitted at about 4:20 AM.  Not bad, as far as waits go...

When I checked in with Clayton this morning, he said Ethan's night was anything but good.  He did well until they checked his O2 at 3 AM.  Then it really hit the fan.  He was put on nasal prongs 3 litres, and 60% blow-by and he started getting a fever again.  By the time I got to the hospital, he was only on 50% oxygen and sleeping.  He has since woke up (somewhat) and is working really hard to breathe.  We've had lots of visitors - nurses, doctors, respiratory therapy...  Hopefully he starts to bounce back soon.