Thursday, November 22, 2012

Back to Searching

Oh so much has happened since my last post and I will try to catch up including pictures from Halloween.  But I'd like to start with the last week.  Things have been quite interesting around here...

I have learned a lot about myself...  Some people already know about what has been going on and I bet mom is thinking I'm obsessing again, but the events had a huge impact on me.

As most people know we've been searching for an accessible home for over a year now.  We thought we'd found the perfect one; a house that would have met the majority of our needs. 

Then came something suspicious.  A rumour.  And then the rumour was repeated by someone else.  There did not seem to be anything to substantiate this rumour and we thought perhaps it was just hearsay or a misunderstanding and something that we could live with. 

Then came more things that just did not add up.  Calls went out to all kinds of organizations and everything seemed positive but still the stress would not leave me.  Despite all the 'positive' things I was being told there was just this feeling that gnawed at me, driving me crazy, making me lose my appetite, sleep and focus on just about anything else.  It grew to the stage of giving me anxiety.  I started to wonder if I was losing my last marbles since there was just something I couldn't put my finger on.  We researched, I did a whole lot of research...let's just say there are a lot of things I've learned that I would rather not know much about.  Sheer panic was running through me, I couldn't even look at pictures of this house that I initially thought was so great. 

Suspicions were confirmed and I almost burst into tears (with relief at finding out when we did).  I just could not put my family through this. 

Over the week I learned that I have a strong intuition, that I need to trust this intuition and that my convictions are also very strong.  Once it became less likely to just be hearsay, I knew there was no way I could live there!  I still wonder why we thought we could live with it when we figured it was just a rumour...sometimes though rumours stem from truths.  So as you may have guessed, we won't be moving anytime soon, but we feel good about our decision.